How To Sniff Out A Liar

Melanie Lindner, 05.13.09, 04:40 PM EDT

Everyone stretches the truth a little.

Here’s what to look for

(and how not to get found out).

There are plenty of dangerously skilled liars–and not just the Bernie Madoffs and Jeffrey Skillings of the world. Indeed, under the right (or wrong) circumstances, we’re all guilty fibbers.

According to an oft-cited 1996 University of Virginia study led by psychologist Bella DePaulo, lying is part of the human condition. Over the course of one week, DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 participants, aged 18 to 71, to record in a diary all of their social interactions and all of the lies they told during them. On average, each person lied just over 10 times, and only seven participants claimed to have been completely honest

To be fair, most of the time we’re just trying to be nice. (When your wife asks if you enjoyed the dinner she cooked, most husbands who know what’s good for them say, “It was delicious.”) Such “false positive” lies are delivered 10 to 20 times more often than spurious denials of culpability, according to DePaulo’s research. Other studies show that men and women lie with equal frequency, though women are more likely to lie to make other people feel good, while men tend to lie to make themselves look better. As for who we hoodwink, “we lie less frequently to our significant others because we’re more invested in those relationships,” says Jeffrey Hancock, associate professor of communication at Cornell University.

The question is: How to know when someone’s selling you swampland in Florida?

Traditional polygraph tests, around in some form or fashion since the early 1900s, use sensors to detect fluctuations in blood pressure, pulse, respiration and sweat in response to probing questions. Two problems with polygraphs: First, they only work about 80% of the time, according to the American Polygraph Association. Second, it’s not like we are going to carry all that hardware to a business meeting or a bar. And that means relying on our own very limited vigilance.

“Although there are some ways in which liars behave differently from truth-tellers, there are no perfectly reliable cues to deception,” admits DePaulo, author of more than a dozen deception studies. “Cues to deception differ according to factors such as the type of lie and the motivation for getting away with it.”

While there is no surefire on-the-spot way to sniff out dissemblers, there are some helpful tactics for uncovering untruths.

Liars often give short or one-word responses to questions, while truth tellers are more likely to flesh out their answers. According to a 2003 study by DePaulo, a liar provides fewer details and uses fewer words than an honest person, and talks for a smaller percentage of the conversation.

Skilled liars don’t break a sweat, but the rest of us get a little fidgety. Four possible giveaways: shifty eyes, higher vocal pitch, perspiration and heavier breathing. Of course, not everyone who doesn’t meet your gaze is a liar.

“Certain behavioral traits, like averting eye contact, could be cultural and not indicative of a liar,” says Joseph Buckley, president of John E. Reid & Associates, which has provided interview and interrogation training to more than 500,000 law enforcement agents to date. The company is also the creator of the Reid Technique, a nine-step interrogation process employed by many U.S. law enforcement agencies.

Liars are often reluctant to admit ordinary storytelling mistakes. When honest people tell stories, they may realize partway through that they left out some details and would unselfconsciously backtrack to fill in holes. They also may realize a previous statement wasn’t quite right, and go back and explain further. Liars, on the other hand, “are worried that someone might catch them in a lie and are reluctant to admit to such ordinary imperfections,” says DePaulo.

Yet another clue: imprecise pronouns. To psychologically distance themselves from a lie, people often pepper their tales with second- and third-person pronouns like “you,” “we” and “they,” says Hancock. Liars are also more likely to ask that questions be repeated and begin responses with phrases like, “to tell you the truth,” and “to be perfectly honest,” says Reid.

When telling the truth, people often make hand gestures to the rhythm of their speech. Hands emphasize points or phrases–a natural and compelling technique when they actually believe the points they’re making. The less certain will keep gesticulations in check, says Hancock.

The mode of communication matters too. Studies show that we are less likely to lie face-to-face than over the phone or the Web. In one week-long study of 30 college students, Hancock observed that the phone was the weapon of choice, enabling 37% of all the lies, versus 27% during face-to-face exchanges, 21% using Instant Messaging and just 14% via e-mail.

Will we ever come clean? Not likely. Guilty stomach knots aside, the subjects in DePaulo’s study confessed that they would tell 75% of the lies again if given the opportunity. Chances are, they’d get away with it.



Chinese Proverb

Published by Henry Sapiecha



Chinese Proverb

Published by Henry Sapiecha

I have a new hero.

His name is Nick Vujicic. Watch this and you’ll understand why.

To watch the video –  Click Here

Henry Sapiecha
Hi again


The following is a statement from a serious money making person - Jon
It says it all. Take note and learn.
My footnote at the end


I've been ranting and raving lately about the
importance of your wealth DNA.

Why is it such a big deal?

I bump into so many individuals, especially at
seminars and when I get to talk to them, it's
obvious to me that no matter how specific you
layout a strategy, you just know they're never
going to be successful.

How do I know?

It's in the way they speak and the language they

They generally fall into 3 categories. You might
think that this bit doesn't relate to you, but
let's see.

The first question that I ask them is, what is
that has stopped you in creating more success in
your life so far?

The overwhelming answer is that they start
talking about events or other individuals who
have somehow controlled their destiny.

They're playing what I call the "blame-game".

They'll blame the economy, the government, the
stock market, their broker, a real estate agent,
a former business partner, their ex-wife, you
get the drift...

You'll never become wealthy if you fall into
this category.

You have to take 100% responsibility of where
you are at right now. You'll never be able to
move forward if you don't accept this.

Here's an interesting story. I once told this to
someone, (I wont mention who) and they
aggressively came back at me with...

"So if I'm walking down the street and a brick
falls on my head, it's my fault?"

No, it's not your fault... But how you respond
to the event is your choice.

Let me ask you this, do you have any friends or
family that have been on workcover for 5 years,
waiting for payout?

Now don't get me wrong, of course injuries
happen, but your attitude to how you respond to
events that seem challenging at the time is so
important when you're building a foundation for

The next attitude of mediocrity is

If you're not blaming, you are usually
justifying your situation in some shape or form.

I've had people say to me, "Money is not really
important to me."

Guess what... These guys are usually broke.

Another way of justifying their lack of money
position, they generally use dumb comparisons
like, "Money is not as important as love" or
"Money is not as important as your health."

Isn't that dumb? It's like you can only have one
or the other. I know you can have both or all

The next dumb attitude is complaining.

In fact, this is the worst thing you can do,
guaranteed to keep you broke, and it gets even
worse... Your health will suffer as well.

I'm a big believer in what you focus on expands.
Read that again... It's THAT powerful.

When you're whining, moaning and complaining,
the only likely outcome is that you're going to
get more of the same crap that you're
complaining about.

When you're complaining, you become a living,
breathing crap-magnet.

Have you ever met a rich person who bitches and
moans all day long.


Here's some homework for you that could
potentially give you some instant results in
your life.

Are you suffering from a little bit or a lot of
the above "wealth-stealing" principles?

You might say to me that, nup, you don't do any
of the above.

Here's a challenge for you...

For the next 7 days, try this. Don't blame,
justify or complain... No matter what.

Look at every experience and say to yourself,

"Mmmm.... What have I done to create this?"

"What's my positive response? If at all..."

"What can I learn from this situation that will
be useful to me?"

See how you go... I bet you it's not going to be
easy. But if you take up the challenge, you're
going to be amazed at the insights and
transformations that will start to appear.

...And remember, it's nothing more than taking
100% responsibility of your own life.

Regards - Jon

Some people have not got a life.
They are so busy complaining that life passes them by
Scared to take risks and explore opportunities
or better still create opportunities.
They are always victims..HA-HA-HA
Get a grip and crush that mentality or
forever walk in someone elses shadow

Sourced and Published by Henry Sapiecha 17th March 2010